How to Address Employment Gaps on Your Resume

Figuring out how to explain a resume gap doesn't have to be overwhelming.

If you’re staring at a gap on your resume and wondering how to explain it—or whether it will disqualify you from every job you apply to—you’re not alone. Resume gaps are one of the most common concerns we hear from young adults in our career coaching practice, and they’re far more manageable than most people think.

Whether you took time off for mental health, graduated without a clear plan, dealt with a family situation, or simply needed space to figure things out, this guide will help you address employment gaps in a way that feels honest, strategic, and true to your story.

Why Are Resume Gaps Bad? (Spoiler: They’re Not Always)

Let’s address the elephant in the room. Many job seekers have been told that resume gaps are red flags—automatic disqualifiers that make employers assume the worst. But here’s what actually happens when a hiring manager sees a gap: they form a question, not a conclusion.

The gap itself isn’t the problem. The problem is when candidates either ignore it entirely or over-explain it with anxiety-driven justifications. Employers aren’t looking for a perfect, uninterrupted work history. They’re looking for self-awareness, honesty, and evidence that you can do the job.

That said, it’s true that unexplained gaps can create uncertainty. The goal isn’t to pretend the gap doesn’t exist—it’s to address it in a way that moves the conversation forward rather than getting stuck there.

How to Explain Resume Gaps: The Framework

When figuring out how to explain gaps in your resume, it helps to have a simple framework. We recommend thinking about three things: context, growth, and readiness.

Context means giving a brief, honest explanation of what happened. You don’t need to share every detail—in fact, you shouldn’t. A sentence or two is usually enough. “I took time off to address some health challenges” or “I stepped back from work to support a family member” provides context without inviting interrogation.

Growth means showing what you gained or learned during that time, even if it wasn’t formal employment. Did you develop new skills? Work through something difficult? Gain clarity about what you actually want? The gap doesn’t need to have been “productive” in the traditional sense, but reflecting on how it shaped you demonstrates maturity.

Readiness means making it clear that you’re prepared and motivated to work now. This is what employers care about most. They want to know you’re showing up ready to contribute, not that you’re still figuring out whether you even want this job.

How to Handle Gaps in Your Resume: Practical Strategies

Beyond the overall narrative, there are specific techniques for how to handle gaps in resume documents themselves. Here are approaches that work:

Use a Functional or Hybrid Resume Format

If your gaps are significant or numerous, a functional resume format emphasizes skills and accomplishments over chronological work history. A hybrid format combines the best of both—leading with a skills section, then including a simplified timeline.

That said, be careful: some recruiters view purely functional resumes with suspicion because they assume you’re hiding something. A hybrid approach is often the better choice. It shows your trajectory while giving you room to highlight relevant skills upfront.

Account for the Time Honestly

When you’re figuring out how to write a resume with gaps in employment, don’t try to hide them with vague dates or creative formatting. Listing only years (e.g., “2021–2022”) instead of months is acceptable and common, but don’t stretch dates to cover gaps—it’s easy to catch and damages trust.

Instead, you can include a brief line item for the gap itself if it was substantial. Something like:

Career Break | January 2023 – August 2024
Took time to address personal health priorities and reassess career direction. Completed online coursework in [relevant skill] and volunteered with [organization].

This approach to writing a resume with job gaps shows you’re not ashamed of the time off and that you remained engaged with your own development.

Leverage Your Cover Letter

Your cover letter is the ideal place to address employment gaps proactively. A brief mention shows self-awareness and confidence: “After completing my degree, I took time to navigate a health challenge before entering the workforce. I’m now fully recovered and excited to bring my skills to a role where I can contribute to…”

Done right, this transforms a potential concern into evidence of resilience.

How to Fill Resume Gaps: What Counts

Many people wonder how to fill gaps in their resume—as if there’s a secret trick that erases the time entirely. The reality is that you don’t need to “fill” the gap so much as account for it thoughtfully.

That said, if you did engage in activities during your time away from traditional employment, those absolutely count. Consider including:

•          Freelance or contract work, even if sporadic or informal

•          Volunteer experience, especially if it involved relevant skills

•          Online courses, certifications, or self-directed learning

•          Caregiving responsibilities, which involve real skills (organization, patience, problem-solving)

•          Personal projects that demonstrate initiative or creativity

•          Part-time work, even if unrelated to your target field

The question isn’t whether these activities are “impressive enough.” It’s whether they help tell the story of someone who stayed engaged with life during a challenging time.

When Gaps Feel Insurmountable: Getting Unstuck

If you’ve been dealing with gaps in your resume for a while—maybe you’ve sent dozens of applications and aren’t getting interviews, or maybe you haven’t even started because the gap feels too big to explain—you’re probably experiencing something more than a resume problem.

Often, the gap itself becomes tangled up with shame, uncertainty, and fear of judgment. It’s hard to write confidently about your story when you’re not sure you believe in it yourself.

This is where working with a career coach can make a significant difference. A good coach doesn’t just help you fill in gaps on your resume—they help you understand your story, build confidence in how you present yourself, and develop a search strategy that actually fits your situation.

At Gofman Therapy and Consulting, our career coaching team specializes in working with young adults whose paths haven’t been linear. We’ve helped hundreds of clients with resume gaps, unclear post-graduation direction, mental health-related career breaks, and the particular challenges that come with starting later or starting over.

We don’t offer generic advice. We offer structured, practical support tailored to your specific circumstances—from resume building and interview prep to the mindset shifts that make the job search feel manageable instead of overwhelming.

The Bottom Line on Addressing Resume Gaps

Resume gaps don’t have to derail your job search. The key is to approach them with honesty, context, and a clear focus on what comes next. Employers are more forgiving than you might expect—as long as you demonstrate self-awareness and readiness to contribute.

If your job search has stalled, if you’re struggling to figure out how to deal with gaps in your resume, or if you’re just not sure where to start, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

We are here to talk through your situation and see if our career coaching services might be the right fit.

You Don't Have to Be 'Sick Enough' to Deserve Eating Disorder Support

You don't have to hit rock bottom to deserve support. For college students and young women struggling with food and body image.

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By Danielle Gofman, LPC

"Other people have it so much worse."

"I'm still eating, so it can't be that serious."

"I'm functioning fine—I don't really need help."

If you've ever had thoughts like these, you're not alone. As a therapist who works with college students and young adult women struggling with eating and body image, I hear some version of this nearly every week. Smart, self-aware, high-achieving women who are clearly suffering—but who've convinced themselves they don't deserve support.

This belief often comes from a good place. You don't want to be dramatic. You don't want to take up space or resources that could go to someone who "really" needs it. You've always handled things on your own, and asking for help feels like admitting defeat.

But here's what I want you to know: the belief that you're not "sick enough" is often the eating disorder talking. It's one of the most common things that keeps people stuck—and one of the biggest barriers to getting support that could genuinely help.

Why "Sick Enough" Is a Myth

When most people picture an eating disorder, they imagine someone who is visibly emaciated, hospitalized, unable to function. That image represents the most severe end of a very wide spectrum—and it leaves out the vast majority of people who are struggling.

The truth is that eating disorders affect people in all body sizes. You cannot tell by looking at someone whether they have a problematic relationship with food. Many people with eating disorders are at a "normal" weight or even in larger bodies. Many are high-functioning on the outside—excelling at school, crushing it at work, holding their lives together—while quietly suffering on the inside.

Research consistently shows that early intervention leads to better outcomes in eating disorder recovery. The longer disordered patterns continue, the more entrenched they become. Waiting until things are "bad enough" doesn't make you more deserving of help—it often just makes recovery harder.

And here's something important to understand: the eating disorder itself wants you to believe you don't need help. Minimizing, dismissing, and convincing you that your struggles aren't "real" enough—that's part of how it maintains its grip. When you hear that voice telling you you're fine, that you're overreacting, that you should just try harder on your own—consider that it might not be a voice worth trusting.

What Disordered Eating Actually Looks Like

Part of the reason so many people don't recognize their struggles as "real" is that our culture normalizes—and even celebrates—a lot of disordered behaviors. Restriction gets praised as discipline. Obsessive exercise gets called dedication. Rigid food rules get framed as "clean eating" or "wellness."

So what does disordered eating actually look like? It's not one thing. It exists on a spectrum, and it shows up differently for different people. But if you recognize yourself in several of these experiences, it may be worth paying attention:

You're constantly doing mental math around food. Calories, macros, "good" foods versus "bad" foods—there's a running calculator in your head that never turns off.

You feel anxious or guilty after eating. Especially after eating something "unplanned" or outside your rules. A single meal can shift your entire mood.

You cycle between restriction and overeating. You control your food tightly, then feel out of control and eat past fullness, then feel ashamed and restrict again. The cycle repeats.

Exercise is primarily about earning or burning food. Movement isn't about enjoyment or health—it's about compensating for what you ate or creating "permission" to eat later.

You avoid social situations because of food anxiety. Dinner with friends, holidays with family, vacations—anything involving food you can't control feels overwhelming.

Your mood and self-worth are tied to your body. How you feel about yourself on any given day depends heavily on what you ate, what the scale said, or how your clothes fit.

You spend significant mental energy thinking about food and your body. Even when you're doing other things, part of your brain is planning meals, worrying about weight, or critiquing your appearance.

Your food rules keep getting stricter. What started as "cutting back on sugar" has become an ever-growing list of foods you won't eat, times you won't eat, and rigid rituals you have to follow.

You feel out of control around food, then ashamed afterward. Bingeing or overeating is followed by intense self-criticism, secrecy, and promises to "do better tomorrow."

If several of these resonate, it doesn't mean something is fundamentally wrong with you. It means your relationship with food is causing you distress. And that's worth addressing—not because you've hit some arbitrary threshold of "sick enough," but because you deserve to feel better.

Why High-Achievers Often Fly Under the Radar

Here's a pattern I see often: the young women who are struggling the most are also the ones least likely to seek help. They're the high-achievers, the perfectionists, the ones who have always held it together.

If that sounds like you, it makes sense that you'd minimize your struggles. The same traits that make you successful—discipline, self-control, high standards—are often the same traits that fuel disordered eating. And because those traits are praised in our culture, it's hard to recognize when they've crossed a line.

You might be excelling in school while internally obsessing over every meal. You might be killing it at work while spending your evenings in a shame spiral over what you ate. From the outside, you look like you have it all together. From the inside, you're exhausted.

Because you're "functioning," no one—including you—recognizes there's a problem. You compare yourself to people who seem worse off and conclude that you're fine. You tell yourself you should be able to handle this on your own, because you've always handled everything on your own.

But here's the thing: the internal experience matters. Just because you're keeping it together on the outside doesn't mean you're okay on the inside. You might be the person everyone else comes to for support. That doesn't mean you don't deserve support too.

Perfectionism can also show up in how you think about getting help. You might believe that needing therapy is a sign of weakness, or that you should be able to "fix" this yourself if you just try harder. You might worry about doing recovery "wrong." These thoughts are part of the same pattern—and they're worth examining, not obeying.

Signs It Might Be Time to Seek Support

You don't need to be in crisis to benefit from eating disorder therapy. You don't need a formal diagnosis. You don't need to have "hit bottom."

Here are some signs that support could help:

You think about food, eating, or your body more than feels sustainable. It takes up mental space that you'd rather use for other things.

Your eating behaviors are affecting other areas of your life. Your mood, your energy, your relationships, your ability to be present—something is suffering.

You feel trapped in cycles you can't break on your own. Restriction, then overeating, then shame, then restriction. You've tried to stop, but the pattern keeps repeating.

You've tried to "fix" your eating yourself, but the patterns keep returning. Willpower isn't working. The rules you set for yourself aren't holding.

You're exhausted by the mental effort of managing food and your body. It's taking more energy than it should, and you're tired.

You avoid situations because of food or body anxiety. You're saying no to things you'd otherwise want to do because food is involved.

You find yourself thinking, "I'll get help when it gets worse." But it's been getting worse. Or it's been the same level of hard for a long time, and that's its own kind of worse.

If any of this resonates, I want to offer a reframe: seeking support now isn't dramatic. It's smart. Therapy is often most effective when you're not in crisis, because you have the mental and emotional capacity to build skills, try new things, and make real changes. You don't have to wait until you're falling apart to deserve help.

What Eating Disorder Therapy Can Offer

Eating disorder therapy isn't about proving you're "sick enough." It's about building a healthier relationship with food, your body, and yourself.

In therapy, you'll have a space to explore the patterns driving your eating behaviors—not just the behaviors themselves. What needs is the eating disorder trying to meet? What emotions are you avoiding, managing, or numbing through food? What would it feel like to have more flexibility and less rigidity in how you eat and how you think about your body?

You'll also learn practical skills. In my work, I use a DBT-informed approach, which means we focus on building concrete tools for managing urges, tolerating distress, regulating emotions, and responding to yourself with more compassion. These aren't abstract concepts—they're strategies you can use in daily life, in the moments when you need them most.

Therapy meets you where you are. Whether you're dealing with disordered eating that doesn't fit neatly into a diagnosis, a full eating disorder, or something in between—support can help. We'll work collaboratively to set goals that feel meaningful to you, and we'll move at a pace that feels safe and sustainable.

And if it turns out you need a higher level of care—like an intensive outpatient program, partial hospitalization, or residential treatment—that's something we can assess together. Part of my job is helping you figure out what level of support is right for you, and connecting you with resources if needed.

You Don't Have to Wait Until It's Worse

If you've read this far, something here probably resonated. Maybe you're not sure if your struggles are "real" enough. Maybe you've been telling yourself you should be able to handle this alone. Maybe you're exhausted by the mental effort of managing food and your body, but you've convinced yourself it's not that bad.

I want to leave you with this: you don't have to earn the right to feel better. You don't have to wait until things get worse to deserve support. If your relationship with food is taking up mental space and causing you distress, that's enough.

Reaching out can feel intimidating—but it can also be the beginning of real change. A consultation isn't a commitment to anything. It's just a conversation to explore whether therapy might help, and whether we'd be a good fit to work together.

If any of this resonated, I'd be glad to talk.

Ready to take the first step?

I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation for college students and young adult women navigating eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image struggles. Let's talk about what you're experiencing and whether this approach might be right for you.

Danielle Gofman, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor specializing in eating disorder therapy for college students and young adult women. She provides virtual DBT-informed treatment throughout Connecticut and Virginia. Learn more about Danielle's approach or schedule a consultation.

What to Do When You Graduate College With No Plan

You're not behind. You're just at the beginning.

You did everything you were supposed to do. You went to class, passed your exams, walked across the stage. And now you're sitting with a diploma, a mountain of expectations, and absolutely no idea what comes next.

If you graduated college with no plan—or the plan you had fell apart—you're not alone. And despite what it might feel like scrolling through LinkedIn or listening to relatives at dinner, you're not behind.

This post is for the recent grad staring at job boards feeling paralyzed, the one wondering if their degree was a mistake, and the one who just needs someone to say: it's okay to not have it figured out yet.

Why So Many Graduates Feel Lost

Here's something that rarely gets said out loud: college is structured to get you to graduation, not necessarily through what comes after.

For most of your life, the path was laid out. Elementary school led to middle school. High school led to college. Each step had clear milestones, deadlines, and people telling you what to do next.

Then you graduate—and suddenly there's no syllabus. No advisor assigning your next move. Just a vast, open question: What now?

It makes sense that this feels disorienting, but you're not failing at adulthood. You're just encountering, for the first time, a transition that no one really prepares you for.

The Pressure to Have It All Figured Out

Social media doesn't help. Neither do well-meaning family members asking, "So, what's the plan?" at every gathering.

It can start to feel like everyone else got a memo you missed. Your roommate landed a job before graduation. Your cousin is already in grad school. Meanwhile, you're refreshing your email hoping for any response to the dozens of applications you've sent.

The truth is, what you're seeing is a highlight reel. You're not seeing the people who are also struggling, also uncertain, also quietly wondering if they made the wrong choices. There are a lot more of them than you think.

Research suggests that about half of recent graduates are underemployed, and three-quarters end up working outside their major. Feeling directionless after college isn't a personal failure, it's a widespread experience that just doesn't get talked about enough.

What Actually Helps

If you're in this place right now, here are some concrete steps that can help you move forward—even when you don't have a grand plan.

Lower the stakes on your first job

Your first job out of college doesn't have to be your dream job. It doesn't even have to be in your field. What it can be is a way to pay bills, build some skills, and buy yourself time to figure out what you actually want.

Putting less pressure on this first step makes it easier to take it.

Get curious instead of certain

You don't need to know exactly what career you want. You just need to start learning what you like and don't like. That might mean taking a job that sounds interesting, volunteering, doing informational interviews, or trying something completely outside your comfort zone.

Clarity often comes from action, not from thinking harder.

Break the job search into smaller pieces

If "find a job" feels overwhelming, try breaking it into tasks you can actually complete in a single sitting. Update one section of your resume. Research five companies. Send one networking message. Small actions build momentum.

Talk to someone who's been through it

One of the most helpful things you can do is talk to people a few years ahead of you—not for job leads, but just to hear their story. Most will tell you their path wasn't linear either. It's normalizing, and often more useful than advice from people who graduated decades ago into a different economy.

Consider getting support

If you've been stuck for a while, if the job search is affecting your mental health, or if you genuinely don't know what direction to explore, working with a career counselor or coach can help.

Career counseling isn't about someone handing you answers. It's a structured process to help you understand your strengths, clarify what matters to you, and build a realistic plan to move forward. Sometimes having a guide makes all the difference.

What Not to Do

A few common traps to avoid:

Don't disappear into endless research. Reading about careers online can feel productive, but it's often a form of procrastination. At some point, you have to try things in the real world.

Don't compare your timeline to anyone else's. Your path is yours. Some people figure things out at 22. Some at 32. There's no deadline.

Don't wait until you feel ready. Confidence usually comes after you start, not before. If you wait until you feel certain, you might be waiting a long time.

You're Not Behind—You're Just Beginning

The post-college transition is genuinely hard. It's a massive identity shift, often accompanied by financial stress, social comparison, and the pressure of infinite possibilities.

But here's the thing: not having a plan right now doesn't mean you won't find your way. It just means you're in the middle of figuring it out—which is exactly where you're supposed to be.

Take one small step today. Then another tomorrow. The path will become clearer as you walk it.

When You're Ready for Support

At Gofman Therapy and Consulting, we offer career coaching and counseling for young adults navigating exactly this kind of uncertainty. Whether you're a recent college graduate with no clear direction, someone whose job search has stalled, or a young professional realizing your current path isn't the right fit—we can help.

Our career counseling services are available in-person in Westport, CT and virtually throughout Connecticut, New York, the DC Metro area, and nationwide.

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Related posts you might find helpful:

• What Is Failure to Launch? Signs Your Young Adult May Be Struggling to Thrive

• Beyond Motivation: Understanding What's Holding Your Young Adult Back

• Helping Without Hovering: How Parents Can Talk About Career Coaching With Young Adults

Do I have an eating disorder or disordered eating? How to tell

It’s not unusual to question your relationship with food at some point in life. Maybe you’ve noticed your eating habits changing. Maybe food feels more stressful than it used to. Or maybe someone close to you has expressed concern, and you’re not sure whether it’s something to take seriously.

For teens, young adults, and parents, the line between “disordered eating” and an eating disorder can feel blurry. Many people wonder if what they’re experiencing is a phase, a response to stress, or something that deserves professional support.

This post explores the difference between eating disorder vs disordered eating, common warning signs, and when therapy, including DBT-based support, can help.

If you’re reading this and wondering, “Do I have an eating disorder?” you’re not alone. That question itself is often a meaningful place to start.

What Is Disordered Eating?

Disordered eating is a broad term that describes unhealthy or unhelpful patterns around food, eating, or body image. These behaviors may not meet the criteria for a formal eating disorder, but they can still have a real impact on physical and emotional wellbeing.

Examples of disordered eating can include:

• Skipping meals regularly

• Rigid “food rules” or labeling foods as strictly good or bad

• Eating in response to stress, guilt, or anxiety rather than hunger

• Feeling a strong sense of control or relief through restricting or overeating

• Preoccupation with weight, calories, or body shape

• Avoiding social situations that involve food

Disordered eating often exists on a spectrum. Some people move in and out of these patterns depending on stress, life transitions, or emotional challenges. For others, these habits become more entrenched over time.

What Is an Eating Disorder?

An eating disorder is a diagnosable mental health condition that involves persistent disturbances in eating behavior, body image, and emotional regulation. These patterns typically cause significant distress and interfere with daily functioning, relationships, school, or work.

Common eating disorders include:

• Anorexia nervosa

• Bulimia nervosa

• Binge eating disorder

• Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)

• Other specified feeding or eating disorders (OSFED)

While the behaviors may look different, many eating disorders share common emotional and psychological roots, such as perfectionism, anxiety, difficulty tolerating strong emotions, or a deep need for control or certainty.

Eating Disorder vs Disordered Eating: What’s the Difference?

This is one of the most common questions people search for, and the answer isn’t always straightforward.

A helpful way to think about it is this:

Disordered eating refers to patterns that are concerning but may be more flexible or situational. An eating disorder tends to involve more rigid, persistent, and consuming behaviors that significantly affect daily life.

Some key differences include:

• How much time and mental energy food and body concerns take up

• Whether eating behaviors feel optional or feel driven and hard to stop

• The level of distress, secrecy, or shame involved

• The impact on physical health, relationships, or responsibilities

It’s also important to know that many people move along this spectrum over time. What starts as disordered eating can develop into something more serious, especially during periods of stress, transition, or emotional strain.

Common Eating Disorder Symptoms in Teens and Young Adults

Eating disorder symptoms don’t always look the same from person to person. In teens, college students, and young adults, some warning signs can include:

• Skipping meals or eating very small portions

• Frequent trips to the bathroom after eating

• Cycles of binge eating followed by guilt or attempts to “make up for it”

• Avoiding eating around others

• Increased secrecy around food or body habits

• Strong emotional reactions tied to weight, shape, or appearance

• Feeling out of control around food

• Physical symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, or changes in sleep

Parents often search for signs of an eating disorder in teens because these patterns can be subtle at first. Changes in mood, isolation, or withdrawal can sometimes appear before eating behaviors become obvious.

When Does Dieting or Stress Become a Concern?

Many people ask, “Is this just stress eating, or is it something more?”

Stress, anxiety, and major life transitions can all influence how someone eats. Starting college, entering the workforce, navigating identity changes, or dealing with pressure to perform can all shape eating patterns.

It may be time to seek support if:

• Food feels like a primary way of coping with emotions

• Eating habits feel increasingly rigid or out of control

• Thoughts about food or body image dominate your day

• You feel shame, secrecy, or fear around eating

• Your health, focus, or relationships are being affected

These are not signs of weakness. They are signals that something in your system may be overwhelmed and looking for support.

How Emotional Regulation Connects to Eating Behaviors

Many people are surprised to learn how closely eating patterns are tied to emotional regulation. For some, food becomes a way to manage feelings that feel too intense, confusing, or uncomfortable.

This is one reason DBT for eating disorders and disordered eating can be so helpful. Dialectical Behavior Therapy focuses on building skills for:

• Tolerating distress without harmful coping strategies

• Regulating intense emotions

• Increasing awareness of internal experiences

• Building healthier ways to respond to stress and urges

When emotional tools are limited, behaviors around food often fill that gap. Therapy helps expand the range of ways someone can care for themselves during difficult moments.

How Therapy Can Help With Eating Concerns

Therapy for disordered eating and eating disorders is not just about changing food behaviors. It’s about understanding what those behaviors are doing for you emotionally and building safer, more sustainable ways to meet those needs.

In our work with teens and young adults, therapy often focuses on:

• Exploring the emotional role food and body image play

• Building emotional awareness and regulation skills

• Addressing anxiety, perfectionism, or identity stress

• Strengthening self-trust and self-compassion

• Improving communication with family or support systems

For some clients, DBT-based therapy provides a practical, structured way to work with urges, intense emotions, and all-or-nothing thinking that often show up alongside eating issues.

Eating Disorder Therapy in Westport, CT and Virtual Support

At Gofman Therapy & Consulting, we offer eating disorder therapy in Westport, CT, and virtual therapy across Connecticut and Virginia. We work with teens, young adults, and families who are navigating concerns about food, body image, and emotional wellbeing.

Whether you’re noticing early warning signs or dealing with long-standing patterns, support can make a meaningful difference.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

If you’re wondering whether what you’re experiencing is disordered eating or an eating disorder, that curiosity itself is a sign of care. You don’t need a diagnosis to reach out for support. You just need a sense that something doesn’t feel quite right.

If you’re a parent concerned about your teen or young adult, it’s okay to ask questions and explore options. You don’t have to wait for things to become a crisis before seeking guidance.

We’re here to talk through what’s been coming up and help you decide what next steps might make sense.

FAQ: Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating

What’s the difference between disordered eating and an eating disorder?

Disordered eating refers to unhealthy patterns around food that may be more flexible or situational. An eating disorder is a diagnosable condition involving more persistent, rigid behaviors that significantly impact daily life, health, or emotional wellbeing.

How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

If food, body image, or eating behaviors are causing distress, interfering with relationships or responsibilities, or feel hard to control, it may be helpful to talk with a mental health professional for an assessment.

Can DBT help with eating disorder symptoms?

Yes. DBT focuses on emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and coping skills, which can be especially helpful for people who use food-related behaviors to manage intense emotions or stress.

What are early warning signs of an eating disorder in teens?

Early signs can include skipping meals, avoiding eating around others, changes in mood or energy, secrecy around food, and increased preoccupation with weight or appearance.

Do you offer virtual eating disorder therapy?

Yes. We offer virtual therapy across Connecticut and Virginia.

Why Am I So Angry? Understanding and Managing Anger in Teens & Young Adults

Anger is a normal emotion—but when it starts to feel constant, overwhelming, or out of control, it can take a toll. For teens, college students, and young professionals, anger often shows up in ways that are confusing or distressing: snapping at people you care about, withdrawing from conversations, or feeling like your emotions are too big to handle.

We often hear clients say things like:

“I don’t know why I get so angry. It just happens.”

“I regret how I reacted, but I felt out of control.”

“I didn’t mean to lash out—but I felt cornered and overwhelmed.”

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Anger is often a sign that something deeper is going on beneath the surface, and understanding your anger is the first step toward managing it in healthier, more empowering ways.

This post explores how anger shows up in teens and young adults, what might be driving it, and how therapy can help build long-term emotional regulation.

What Does Anger Look Like in Teens and Young Adults?

Anger doesn’t always look like yelling or slamming doors. In teens and emerging adults, anger often shows up as:

• Irritability or mood swings

• Sudden emotional outbursts

• Sarcasm, withdrawal, or defensiveness

• Passive-aggressive behavior

• Arguments with family, roommates, or partners

• Bottling things up until they explode

• Shame or regret after reacting in the heat of the moment

You might feel angry all the time, even if you can’t explain why. Or maybe small things set you off—traffic, a comment, a plan change—more than they should. That doesn’t mean you’re just an “angry person.” It means your nervous system may be holding more than it can handle, and it’s looking for a release.

What Causes Anger Issues in Teens and Young Adults?

There’s no single cause of anger problems. But in our work with teens and young adults, we often find that persistent anger is a response to deeper experiences like:

• Unprocessed stress or trauma

• Chronic anxiety or burnout

• Perfectionism or fear of failure

• Feeling misunderstood or dismissed

• Struggles with identity or autonomy

• Executive functioning challenges (especially under pressure)

• Feeling stuck in school, career, or relationships

For many young people, anger masks more vulnerable emotions—like fear, sadness, or shame. If those feelings never had space to be processed, they can show up as quick tempers or emotional shutdowns.

Is This Just a Phase, or Is It Time to Get Help?

Occasional frustration is part of life. But if you or your child feels frequently angry, irritable, or overwhelmed by emotions, it may be time to explore support.

You don’t have to wait for things to get worse. Therapy for anger and emotional regulation can help you:

• Understand the deeper causes of your anger

• Develop tools to pause, reflect, and respond instead of react

• Learn strategies for calming the nervous system in the moment

• Build better communication in relationships

• Strengthen emotional awareness and resilience

We work with teens, college students, and young professionals who are ready to understand their emotional world—not just “manage it,” but work through it.

Anger Management Therapy Isn’t About Shutting Down Emotions

Sometimes people assume that anger management is about learning how to bottle things up or “just be calm.” But that’s not the goal.

We don’t believe in silencing emotions. Instead, we help clients:

• Identify the signals their body and mind are sending

• Build nervous system regulation tools that actually work

• Increase tolerance for uncomfortable emotions

• Create new pathways through habits, structure, and self-awareness

Therapy provides a safe space to unpack what’s happening beneath the surface and to learn new ways to navigate big feelings without shutting them down.

Therapy for Anger Issues in Teens and Young Adults

In our practice, we offer anger management therapy in Westport, CT, and virtually across Connecticut and Virginia. Whether we’re working with teens, young professionals, or college students, we tailor our approach to meet each person’s unique needs.

We also support clients navigating related challenges like:

• Anxiety and stress management

• Identity development and self-esteem

• Life transitions and career pressures

• Executive functioning struggles

• Family conflict and boundary-setting

Anger is never the whole story. With the right support, it becomes a doorway into something deeper—growth, healing, and real change.

You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

If you're a young adult feeling overwhelmed by your own reactions—or a parent noticing your teen is struggling to manage emotions—know that help is available.

Therapy isn’t about fixing who you are. It’s about giving you tools, space, and support to work through what’s getting in your way.

We offer therapy for anger issues for teens and young adults in Westport, CT and virtually across Connecticut and Virginia.

Let’s talk about what’s been coming up.

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FAQ: Anger Issues in Young Adults and Teens

What are the signs that anger might be a problem?

If anger is interfering with relationships, school, work, or emotional wellbeing—or if it feels constant or uncontrollable—it’s worth exploring with a therapist.

Is anger always a bad thing?

No. Anger can be a healthy signal that something needs attention. Therapy helps you listen to that signal and respond with intention, not reactivity.

How does therapy help with anger issues?

Therapy helps clients understand the root of their anger, learn nervous system regulation strategies, and build communication skills to handle conflict without escalation.

Can anger be a sign of anxiety or depression?

Yes. Especially in teens and young adults, chronic anger can be a symptom of underlying anxiety, depression, or burnout.

Do you offer virtual anger management therapy?

Yes. We offer virtual therapy across Connecticut and Virginia, and in-person sessions at our office in Westport, CT.

Beyond Motivation: Understanding What’s Holding Your Young Adult Back

It can be difficult to watch your young adult child stall out. Maybe they’ve been talking about job ideas for months without sending out applications. Or they seem overwhelmed by even small decisions, unsure of what they want or how to move forward. As a parent, it’s easy to wonder if the real issue is a lack of motivation.

But motivation is often the symptom, not the cause. What looks like avoidance or procrastination on the surface may actually be rooted in anxiety, fear of failure, or not knowing where to begin. Labeling the problem as “unmotivated” can oversimplify what’s really going on—and make it harder to offer meaningful support.

This post explores what might be happening underneath the surface, and how career coaching can help young adults move forward when they’re feeling stuck.

Why Motivation Gets Misunderstood

Motivation gets talked about a lot in popular culture, but in real life it doesn’t behave the way most people expect. Parents searching for why young adults lack motivation are often looking for a quick answer. It’s natural to wonder whether your child is lazy or whether they just need a push.

But motivation is complex. It isn’t a simple on‑off switch that comes with maturity or self‑confidence. Instead, it is often a response to feelings of uncertainty, fear, or overwhelm. Many young adults who appear unmotivated are actually wrestling with internal barriers that make action feel risky or futile.

When these barriers are present, the brain shifts into a protective mode. Rather than moving toward opportunities, the young adult may hesitate, delay, or freeze. Parents may see this as resistance or lack of motivation. In truth, it may be a sign of fear of failure, low self‑trust, or confusion about what path to choose.

Common Underlying Challenges Behind “Lack of Motivation”

Lack of motivation in young adults often has roots in one or more of the following patterns:

Fear of Failure

Some young adults have internalized the idea that failing means lack of worth. As a result, they may avoid trying anything that could lead to failure, even small steps like updating a resume or applying to jobs.

Overwhelm and Decision Paralysis

Emerging adults face a wider array of choices than past generations. Choosing a major, picking a job, or deciding where to live can feel like life‑defining decisions. Without tools to process options, overwhelm can replace motivation.

Comparison to Others

If a young adult sees peers landing jobs or making confident moves, they may assume everyone else has it figured out and they alone are struggling. This can lead to isolation and internal pressure that blocks action.

Executive Functioning Challenges

Some young adults may struggle with planning, organizing, and following through even when they want to act. These challenges often get mislabeled as laziness when they are really about cognitive barriers.

Low Self‑Belief

Negative self‑talk or patterns like perfectionism can erode motivation. If someone feels they must be perfect or never make mistakes, they may do nothing at all rather than risk imperfection.

Emotional Avoidance

For some, the avoidance of career tasks is rooted in avoidance of uncomfortable feelings. Avoidance can feel safer than confronting fear, uncertainty, or self‑doubt.

When these patterns are playing out, the result looks like a motivation issue, but the label doesn’t capture what’s really happening. Identifying the real block is the first step toward meaningful movement.

Why Motivation Matters — But Not in the Way You Think

Motivation often gets framed as a character trait: you either have it or you don’t. That framing can feel discouraging to both parents and young adults. It pits internal desire against behavior in a way that is not accurate or helpful.

Instead, motivation in the context of life direction is better understood as a product of clarity, confidence, and competence. When a young adult:

• understands what matters to them

• feels safe to take risks

• and has tools to approach tasks

then motivation naturally grows.

In contrast, if someone lacks direction, is afraid of failure, or feels unsure how to take the first step, motivation alone isn’t enough. That’s where coaching and structured support can make a real difference.

How Career Coaching Helps With Motivation Struggles

Career coaching for young adults isn’t about telling them what to do. It’s about helping them explore what matters and creating a plan that aligns with their values and strengths. In our practice, career coaching often includes:

• Clarifying short‑ and long‑term goals

• Exploring career interests and personal values

• Building routines that support follow‑through

• Strengthening decision‑making and self‑trust

• Identifying and addressing patterns like avoidance, fear of failure, or indecision

This approach is practical and compassionate. It helps young adults build momentum from the inside out rather than forcing motivation from the outside in.

Parents searching for career coaching for young adults often appreciate that coaching can reduce the emotional charge around directionless behavior. When a young adult feels supported rather than judged, they are more likely to engage and make progress.

How to Talk About Coaching With a Young Adult

We know that suggesting career coaching to your young adult isn’t always easy. Even a well-intentioned conversation can feel sensitive, especially if motivation has been a pain point. That’s why we created a separate resource just for parents navigating this conversation.

Read: How to Talk About Career Coaching With Your Young Adult

Signs That Career Coaching Might Be Helpful

Career coaching can be especially useful for young adults who:

• Feel unsure about their next steps after school

• Struggle with job searching or follow‑through

• Find choices overwhelming and avoid decision‑making

• Want to move forward but feel stuck

• Demonstrate patterns of avoidance or fear of failure

• Express frustration but don’t know where to start

Even if motivation seems low on the surface, these patterns often point to areas where coaching can help create clarity, structure, and confidence.

Support That Moves Things Forward

It’s hard to see your child feeling stuck — especially when you know how capable they are. When motivation is low, it’s easy to assume they just need to try harder. But in our experience, the real issue is often something deeper: uncertainty, fear of failure, or not knowing where to begin.

Career coaching can help break that cycle. It gives young adults space to sort through what matters, build realistic goals, and take consistent steps forward. And for parents, it offers a way to support growth without micromanaging — a path forward that respects everyone’s autonomy.

If your young adult is open to exploring next steps, we’re here to help.

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FAQ: Lack of Motivation in Young Adults

What causes lack of motivation in young adults?

Lack of motivation in young adults is often not the issue itself. It is a signal that other barriers are present, such as fear of failure, overwhelm, comparison to peers, or low self‑trust. Identifying these underlying causes can lead to more effective support.

Is low motivation a mental health symptom?

Low motivation can be associated with conditions like anxiety, depression, or burnout. It can also arise from executive functioning challenges or identity uncertainty. A professional assessment can help clarify what’s contributing to the experience.

Can career coaching help with motivation issues?

Yes. Career coaching focuses on goals, structure, decision‑making skills, and self‑trust. It can help young adults gain confidence and momentum, even if they initially feel unmotivated.

How do I introduce the idea of coaching to my young adult?

Introducing coaching as a low‑pressure conversation can help. Assure them they don’t have to commit to anything long‑term and frame coaching as an opportunity to explore options with support.

Do you offer virtual coaching?

Yes. We offer virtual career coaching for young adults anywhere in the United States, as well as in‑person sessions at our Westport, CT office.

Helping Without Hovering: How Parents Can Talk About Career Coaching With Young Adults

One of the most common conversations we have with parents goes something like this:

“I know my child is struggling, but I don’t know how to bring up the idea of getting support. I don’t want to push them away or make them feel like I’m hovering.”

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Many parents can clearly see their young adult child feeling stuck. They might seem lost after graduating or unsure about the next step; they may feel discouraged or hopeless in the midst of a lengthy job search process or unable to follow through on goals they once felt excited about. It’s hard to witness that as a parent. You want to offer support, but you also want to respect your child’s autonomy. That tension is real.

Bringing up the idea of career coaching can feel like walking a tightrope. You may worry that your child will feel criticized, or that even a gentle suggestion could cause them to shut down. But with the right language and timing, it’s possible to introduce the idea in a way that feels respectful and empowering.

This post describes how we support parents who are navigating that delicate balance—offering help while honoring their child’s independence.

We offer career coaching for young adults in Westport, CT, and virtually across Connecticut and Virginia.

Why Some Young Adults Struggle to Accept Help

Many young adults who feel stuck already know something isn’t quite working. They may not talk about it openly, but the signs often show up in other ways. They might avoid decisions, procrastinate, or talk about wanting to “figure things out” without taking any steps to get there.

Part of what makes this experience so isolating is the belief that they’re supposed to already know what they’re doing. Our culture often sends the message that independence should come naturally, and that asking for help means you’ve somehow fallen behind. If they’re watching peers land jobs, move out, or talk confidently about their goals, they may assume they’re the only one who’s struggling.

That belief can lead to shame, which makes it even harder to reach out. So when a parent suggests something like career coaching, even gently, it may land with more weight than expected. Your child might hear “you need help” when what you meant was “you don’t have to do this alone.”

That’s why timing and tone matter. The goal isn’t to push them to act before they’re ready. It’s to remind them that support exists—and that they’re not falling behind just because their path looks different.

What Career Coaching Actually Offers

Career coaching is not about telling someone what to do. It’s a collaborative space that helps young adults clarify their goals, build structure, and create momentum. Coaching supports the process of identifying what matters, exploring options, and taking consistent action.

In our practice, career coaching often includes:

• Setting short- and long-term goals

• Exploring and clarifying career interests and values

• Building routines and systems that support follow-through

• Strengthening decision-making and self-trust

• Working through patterns like avoidance, perfectionism, or self-doubt

The approach is supportive and non-directive. We don’t define success for your child—we help them define it for themselves and take actionable steps to achieve it.

When to Talk to Your Young Adult About Career Coaching

There’s no single right moment to have this conversation, but some times are better than others. Our advice is to try to choose a moment when things feel relatively calm. Avoid bringing it up in the middle of an argument or when emotions are already high.

Helpful windows often include:

• After your child expresses frustration or uncertainty

• When they’re reflecting on a recent transition, like moving home or finishing school

• During natural times of reset, such as the beginning of a new year

Keep the tone open and supportive. The more curious and grounded you are, the more likely they are to stay in the conversation.

How to Introduce Career Coaching to Your Young Adult Without Pushing

The way you introduce career coaching can make all the difference. When your child already feels uncertain or discouraged, the last thing they need is to feel pushed or boxed into something they didn’t choose.

Here are a few ways to keep the conversation open and supportive:

Use curiosity instead of advice

“I’ve been thinking about whether having someone to talk to outside the family might feel helpful.”

Affirm their strengths

“You’re thoughtful and capable. It’s completely understandable to feel stuck sometimes. I really believe you can move through this, and I wonder if coaching might help with that.”

Lower their perception of the commitment

One thing we often encourage parents to say is something like, “You don’t have to sign up for anything long-term. You could just have a conversation and see if it feels helpful. That’s it.”

Clarify what coaching actually is

“Career coaching isn’t about someone telling you what to do. It’s about working with someone who can help you figure out what you want and how to take the next step.”

Give them space

“You don’t need to decide anything now. I just want you to know there are resources if you want them.”

The goal is to offer support without pressure—so that when your child is ready, they know where to start.

Signs That Coaching Could Be a Good Fit

Coaching can be especially helpful for young adults who:

• Feel unsure about their next steps after school

• Struggle with job searching, follow-through, or creating routines

• Are navigating a career transition from one industry to another

• Avoid decisions or feel overwhelmed by choices

• Are motivated in theory but unsure how to begin

• Want to move forward but feel stuck trying to do it alone

Even small signs of openness—like frustration with their current situation or asking for guidance—can be a cue that they’re ready for support.

You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers

As a parent, it’s hard to watch your child struggle. You want them to feel confident, engaged, and independent. But the truth is, this stage of life can be complicated. Many young adults need more structure and support than they expected.

Career coaching gives them a space to explore what matters, build momentum, and make choices that feel meaningful to them. And for parents, it offers a way to support without pushing and to guide without hovering.

If you think career coaching might be helpful for your child, we’d be glad to talk more about what that could look like.

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FAQ: Talking to Your Young Adult About Career Coaching

If you’re searching for career coaching for young adults in Westport, CT or need support from afar, we offer virtual sessions across Connecticut and Virginia.

What’s the difference between therapy and career coaching?

Career coaching focuses on goal-setting, clarity, and action. It’s typically structured around career exploration, executive functioning, and building momentum toward independence. Therapy goes deeper, addressing emotional patterns, anxiety, or self-esteem issues that may contribute to being stuck. At Gofman Therapy & Consulting, we offer both — and sometimes a combination is most helpful.

What if my young adult doesn’t think they need coaching?

That’s common. Many young adults feel uncertain but don’t yet know how to ask for help. Framing coaching as a low-pressure conversation — rather than a big commitment — can help reduce resistance. We often encourage parents to say, “You don’t have to sign up for anything. Just talk to someone and see if it feels helpful.”

Is it okay to reach out as a parent before my child is on board?

Yes. Many of the families we work with begin with a parent consultation. We can help you explore how to approach the conversation, what to expect from coaching, and how to support your child without overwhelming them.

Can career coaching help if my child is dealing with anxiety or low motivation?

Yes. Career coaching is not a replacement for therapy, but it can be incredibly helpful when paired with therapeutic support. Coaching focuses on building confidence, routines, and decision-making skills — especially for young adults who are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure where to begin.

Do you offer virtual coaching?

Yes. We offer virtual career coaching for young adults across Connecticut and Virginia, as well as in-person sessions at our Westport, CT office. We also provide support to parents who are navigating how to help from a distance.

Chronic Stress & the Nervous System: How Therapy Can Help

When stress becomes the default setting, it’s hard to notice how much it’s costing you.

Most people can handle short bursts of stress. It’s part of being human. But when that stress becomes constant — woven into daily life without a clear off-ramp — it can start to take a real toll, both physically and emotionally.

Chronic stress doesn’t always look dramatic. In fact, many of the clients we work with are thoughtful, high-achieving individuals who are used to managing a lot. On the outside, they may appear calm, competent, and in control — but inside, they feel tense, overwhelmed, and depleted. Social pressure to keep it together often adds another layer, making it harder to recognize or address what’s actually going on.

The effects of chronic stress tend to build slowly. It might show up as disrupted sleep, persistent tension, irritability, brain fog, or the sense of never quite coming off high alert. Over time, the nervous system adapts to this constant demand by shifting into survival mode. The longer it stays there, the harder it becomes to return to a baseline of calm.

This article explores how chronic stress impacts the brain and body, and how therapy can help interrupt the cycle, support nervous system regulation, and create space for sustainable healing.

What Happens When Stress Becomes Chronic

Stress activates the body’s fight-flight-freeze response, a built-in survival system designed to protect us from danger. In short bursts, this response is useful: It sharpens focus, increases energy, and helps us respond to immediate challenges. But the nervous system isn’t designed to live in this state indefinitely. When stress is constant, the “off switch” becomes harder to access.

Chronic stress often develops in response to ongoing demands that feel hard to escape or control. For many teens and young adults, this might stem from academic pressure, social stress, or the weight of high expectations. Young professionals may experience it through unstable work environments, financial uncertainty, or difficulty balancing independence with responsibility. And for individuals living with chronic pain, the constant management of symptoms and daily functioning can place the nervous system in a prolonged state of strain. Over time, stress like this can shift the body’s baseline — making rest, clarity, and emotional flexibility harder to access.

People experiencing chronic stress often describe:

• Trouble sleeping, even when exhausted

• Increased irritability or emotional numbness

• Physical symptoms with no clear medical cause

• Constant muscle tension or digestive issues

• Difficulty focusing or making decisions

• Feeling disconnected from self or others

It’s important to recognize that these aren’t isolated symptoms. They’re part of a larger pattern rooted in nervous system dysregulation, a state where the body struggles to return to a sense of safety or calm.

What Chronic Stress Does to the Nervous System

When the nervous system is under constant demand, it often shifts into sympathetic dominance. This means the body stays in a state of readiness: heart rate elevated, muscles tense, stress hormones like cortisol remaining high. At the same time, the parasympathetic system — responsible for rest and recovery — becomes harder to access.

This can lead to:

• A persistent feeling of urgency or vigilance

• Emotional overwhelm, or difficulty feeling emotions at all

• Physical fatigue with no sense of real rest

• Delayed recovery from even small stressors

Over time, these physiological patterns can change the way the brain interprets and responds to experiences. The amygdala, which processes threat, may become more reactive. The prefrontal cortex, which supports executive function and regulation, may struggle to stay engaged.

These shifts are not signs of weakness or failure. They’re the nervous system adapting to ongoing conditions — and they are reversible, especially with the right support.

What Makes Chronic Stress Different From General Anxiety or Burnout?

Although these experiences often overlap, chronic stress is not the same as generalized anxiety or burnout.

• Anxiety can occur in the absence of external stressors. It’s often characterized by intrusive worry and future-oriented fear.

• Burnout is typically related to occupational stress and emotional exhaustion related to roles and responsibilities.

• Chronic stress describes the body’s sustained physiological and psychological response to persistent external demand. It often includes features of both anxiety and burnout but is rooted in prolonged activation of the stress response system itself.

This distinction matters because treatment and support need to match the nature of the problem. In therapy, understanding whether a client is experiencing chronic stress — versus burnout or generalized anxiety — helps guide the work in a more targeted way.

How Therapy Can Help With Chronic Stress

Therapy provides a structured, collaborative space to understand your stress patterns, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild a sense of internal safety. For many clients, the shift doesn’t happen through “relaxation” alone. It comes from learning new ways of relating to the body’s signals and stress responses over time.

Effective therapy for chronic stress often includes:

Nervous System Regulation

We introduce grounding practices, breathwork, and body-based strategies that support the parasympathetic nervous system. These tools are practical and repeatable, helping clients return to a calmer baseline.

Emotional Processing

Chronic stress often leads to suppressed or dysregulated emotion. Therapy offers a place to name what’s been held in or pushed aside — safely and at your own pace.

Thought Pattern Awareness

Cognitive work helps clients understand how beliefs and internal narratives reinforce the stress response. This includes patterns like perfectionism, guilt, or constant self-monitoring.

Behavior and Boundaries

Together, we explore where energy is being spent — and whether that aligns with values or survival patterns. Setting boundaries or reevaluating commitments becomes a key part of re-regulation.

Identity and Agency

Long-term stress can lead to disconnection from values, motivation, or sense of self. Therapy can help reconnect with purpose and clarify what matters beyond coping.

Causes of Chronic Stress We Commonly See

Every client brings their own experiences and context to therapy, but among the teens, young adults, and professionals we work with, chronic stress often stems from:

• Ongoing academic pressure or fear of falling behind

• Career uncertainty, job instability, or workplace burnout

• Identity-related stress (including race, gender, and sexuality)

• The impact of chronic pain or complex health conditions

• High family expectations or tension around independence

• A history of trauma or emotional disconnection

• The mental load of “keeping it together” without visible support

Stress doesn’t only come from obvious crises. The nervous system responds just as strongly to emotional overload, social pressure, and situations where a person feels stuck but still expected to function.

Therapy for Chronic Stress in Westport, CT and Beyond

At Gofman Therapy & Consulting, we support adults, teens, and young professionals experiencing the mental, emotional, and physical effects of chronic stress. We offer therapy that’s grounded in:

• Nervous system science and regulation

• Trauma-informed frameworks

• Cognitive and somatic integration

• Realistic tools for daily life

• Collaborative, client-centered care

We see clients in person at our Westport, CT office, and virtually across Connecticut and Virginia.

If you’re finding it hard to rest, think clearly, or feel like yourself — that may be a sign your system is carrying more than it can manage alone. Therapy can help.

Schedule a Free Consultation

If stress has become the background noise of your life, it may be time for support that goes deeper than just coping skills.

We’re here to help you reconnect to a sense of calm, clarity, and possibility — one step at a time.

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FAQ: Therapy for Chronic Stress and Nervous System Regulation

What are the effects of chronic stress?

Chronic stress can affect nearly every system in the body. It often shows up as fatigue, sleep problems, digestive issues, tension, brain fog, irritability, and difficulty regulating emotion. Over time, it may increase the risk of anxiety, depression, and physical health issues.

How does therapy help with chronic stress?

Therapy helps by addressing both the physiological and psychological patterns that keep stress going. We use tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive restructuring to create meaningful, lasting change.

Can chronic stress affect memory or concentration?

Yes. Chronic stress affects areas of the brain related to focus, memory, and decision-making. Clients often report feeling foggy or distracted, even when they’re trying to stay on task.

Do you offer virtual therapy for stress and burnout?

Yes. We offer in person therapy in Westport, CT and virtual therapy to clients across Connecticut and Virginia. Whether you’re looking for help with chronic stress, high-functioning anxiety, or burnout, we can support you from wherever you are.

What Is Failure to Launch? Signs Your Young Adult May Be Struggling to Thrive

It’s not uncommon for young adults to hit roadblocks after high school or college. Some move back home after graduation, others pause before starting careers. A little uncertainty is expected. But when months turn into years of stalled progress — no clear direction, no next step — it can leave families feeling frustrated, confused, and unsure of how to help.

It’s a pattern that’s often labeled as “failure to launch” — but behind that label is usually a mix of anxiety, self-doubt, and stalled momentum that deserves understanding, not judgment.

The term “failure to launch” can sound harsh, but at its core, it describes something real: a pattern where a capable young adult struggles to move forward in areas like work, school, or independent living. Often, they’re stuck in a cycle of avoidance, anxiety, and low motivation, which can be confusing and heartbreaking for parents to witness.

Let’s take a closer look at what failure to launch really means, why it happens, and how therapy can help.

What Is Failure to Launch?

"Failure to launch" refers to when a young adult has difficulty making the transition into independent adulthood. This might look like:

• Living at home with no plans to move out

• Not working or pursuing education

• Avoiding responsibilities like budgeting, scheduling, or self-care

• Relying heavily on parents for emotional or logistical support

• Seeming unsure, unmotivated, or anxious about the future

It’s easy to misread these struggles as a lack of motivation, but for many young adults, the experience is far more complicated. They often feel stuck, overwhelmed, or ashamed — and unsure how to move forward, even when they want to.

Signs Your Young Adult May Be Struggling to Launch

Every person is different, but some common signs of a "failure to launch" pattern include:

• Chronic avoidance of decision-making

• Disengagement from peers, work, or academics

• Difficulty maintaining routines or basic responsibilities

• High sensitivity to stress or uncertainty

• Frequent conflicts with parents about independence

• Low motivation despite past achievement

• Anxiety or hopelessness when talking about the future

These challenges don’t develop overnight, and they don’t mean your young adult lacks potential. In fact, many of the young people we work with in therapy are bright, thoughtful, and creative. They just need support in different areas to move forward.

Why Does This Happen?

There’s no single cause of failure to launch. Often, it’s a mix of factors:

• Anxiety or depression that makes everyday tasks feel overwhelming

• Perfectionism or fear of failure that prevents taking risks

• Executive functioning difficulties, such as challenges with planning, follow-through, or organization

• Low self-esteem or unclear sense of identity

• Over-involvement or enmeshment in the parent-child relationship

• Disrupted transitions, like medical conditions, dropping out of college or moving home unexpectedly

It’s also important to consider the larger context. The landscape of young adulthood has changed. Social pressures, an unpredictable job market, and growing mental health challenges have made this phase of life more complex than it once was. For many young people, navigating these changes feels overwhelming, and they’re doing the best they can with the tools they have.

How We Help Young Adults Get Unstuck

For young adults who feel stalled, overwhelmed, or unsure of where to start, having the right kind of support can make all the difference. At our practice, we offer a combination of therapy and career coaching — two approaches that work best when used together.

Career coaching helps young adults gain clarity around their goals — both short-term and long-term. It offers structure, accountability, and step-by-step support to move forward. Whether it’s applying to jobs, creating routines, or building confidence in decision-making, coaching gives momentum to the process of launching.

At the same time, therapy addresses the deeper layers that can keep someone stuck — things like anxiety, self-doubt, low self-worth, perfectionism, or fear of failure. In therapy, we focus on building insight and emotional regulation, while helping clients reconnect to a sense of agency and possibility.

We focus on creating a supportive, collaborative environment where young adults can move forward at a sustainable pace. With both practical tools and emotional insight, we help clients build momentum through clarity, consistency, and genuine encouragement.

We also work closely with parents when appropriate — offering guidance on how to support your adult child in ways that encourage growth without reinforcing dependence.

This Doesn’t Have to Be the End of the Story

If your young adult is struggling to launch, it doesn’t mean they’re broken — and it doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent. What it often means is that something in the system needs support.

We’ve worked with many young adults who felt stuck for years and who found their way forward with the right combination of therapeutic insight, coaching support, and clear, compassionate boundaries at home.

Therapy for Young Adults in Westport, CT and Across Connecticut

At Gofman Therapy & Consulting, we specialize in helping young adults and their families move through this difficult period of transition.

Our Therapy and Career Coaching services are available for young adults in Westport, CT, and virtually across Connecticut and Virginia. Whether your child is living at home, navigating post-college limbo, or simply feeling lost — we’re here to help.

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FAQ

What are the signs of failure to launch in young adults?

Failure to launch isn’t a formal diagnosis, but it often describes a pattern where a young adult is struggling to move forward with typical milestones of independence. Some common signs include living at home without a plan, avoiding work or school, lacking motivation, or feeling overwhelmed by decisions. It can also show up as anxiety, low self-confidence, or executive functioning challenges that make daily responsibilities feel unmanageable.

What kind of therapy helps with failure to launch?

Therapy that addresses failure to launch often combines emotional insight with practical skill-building. At Gofman Therapy & Consulting, we support young adults through a mix of talk therapy, executive functioning support, and (when appropriate) career coaching. Therapy can help uncover what’s keeping someone stuck — like anxiety, perfectionism, or self-doubt — and coaching provides structure and accountability to move forward.

Is it normal for adult children to still live at home?

Yes — especially in today’s world. Economic shifts, student debt, and mental health challenges have made the transition into independent adulthood more complex. Living at home doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong. But if your adult child feels stuck, avoidant, or distressed — and it’s creating tension at home — it may be time to explore extra support.

Can anxiety cause failure to launch?

Absolutely. Anxiety is one of the most common root causes we see in young adults who feel paralyzed by next steps. It can show up as indecision, avoidance, perfectionism, or intense fear of failure. Therapy can help clients build coping tools, reduce avoidance patterns, and begin to take action even when discomfort is present.

Do you offer therapy for young adults in Connecticut and Virginia?

Yes. We offer in-person sessions at our Westport, CT office and virtual therapy across Connecticut and Virginia. We specialize in working with young adults who feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward — including those navigating failure to launch patterns, anxiety, or career indecision.

If you're looking for support, we’d be glad to talk about whether our approach might be the right fit.