You're not behind. You're just at the beginning.
You did everything you were supposed to do. You went to class, passed your exams, walked across the stage. And now you're sitting with a diploma, a mountain of expectations, and absolutely no idea what comes next.
If you graduated college with no plan—or the plan you had fell apart—you're not alone. And despite what it might feel like scrolling through LinkedIn or listening to relatives at dinner, you're not behind.
This post is for the recent grad staring at job boards feeling paralyzed, the one wondering if their degree was a mistake, and the one who just needs someone to say: it's okay to not have it figured out yet.
Why So Many Graduates Feel Lost
Here's something that rarely gets said out loud: college is structured to get you to graduation, not necessarily through what comes after.
For most of your life, the path was laid out. Elementary school led to middle school. High school led to college. Each step had clear milestones, deadlines, and people telling you what to do next.
Then you graduate—and suddenly there's no syllabus. No advisor assigning your next move. Just a vast, open question: What now?
It makes sense that this feels disorienting, but you're not failing at adulthood. You're just encountering, for the first time, a transition that no one really prepares you for.
The Pressure to Have It All Figured Out
Social media doesn't help. Neither do well-meaning family members asking, "So, what's the plan?" at every gathering.
It can start to feel like everyone else got a memo you missed. Your roommate landed a job before graduation. Your cousin is already in grad school. Meanwhile, you're refreshing your email hoping for any response to the dozens of applications you've sent.
The truth is, what you're seeing is a highlight reel. You're not seeing the people who are also struggling, also uncertain, also quietly wondering if they made the wrong choices. There are a lot more of them than you think.
Research suggests that about half of recent graduates are underemployed, and three-quarters end up working outside their major. Feeling directionless after college isn't a personal failure, it's a widespread experience that just doesn't get talked about enough.
What Actually Helps
If you're in this place right now, here are some concrete steps that can help you move forward—even when you don't have a grand plan.
Lower the stakes on your first job
Your first job out of college doesn't have to be your dream job. It doesn't even have to be in your field. What it can be is a way to pay bills, build some skills, and buy yourself time to figure out what you actually want.
Putting less pressure on this first step makes it easier to take it.
Get curious instead of certain
You don't need to know exactly what career you want. You just need to start learning what you like and don't like. That might mean taking a job that sounds interesting, volunteering, doing informational interviews, or trying something completely outside your comfort zone.
Clarity often comes from action, not from thinking harder.
Break the job search into smaller pieces
If "find a job" feels overwhelming, try breaking it into tasks you can actually complete in a single sitting. Update one section of your resume. Research five companies. Send one networking message. Small actions build momentum.
Talk to someone who's been through it
One of the most helpful things you can do is talk to people a few years ahead of you—not for job leads, but just to hear their story. Most will tell you their path wasn't linear either. It's normalizing, and often more useful than advice from people who graduated decades ago into a different economy.
Consider getting support
If you've been stuck for a while, if the job search is affecting your mental health, or if you genuinely don't know what direction to explore, working with a career counselor or coach can help.
Career counseling isn't about someone handing you answers. It's a structured process to help you understand your strengths, clarify what matters to you, and build a realistic plan to move forward. Sometimes having a guide makes all the difference.
What Not to Do
A few common traps to avoid:
Don't disappear into endless research. Reading about careers online can feel productive, but it's often a form of procrastination. At some point, you have to try things in the real world.
Don't compare your timeline to anyone else's. Your path is yours. Some people figure things out at 22. Some at 32. There's no deadline.
Don't wait until you feel ready. Confidence usually comes after you start, not before. If you wait until you feel certain, you might be waiting a long time.
You're Not Behind—You're Just Beginning
The post-college transition is genuinely hard. It's a massive identity shift, often accompanied by financial stress, social comparison, and the pressure of infinite possibilities.
But here's the thing: not having a plan right now doesn't mean you won't find your way. It just means you're in the middle of figuring it out—which is exactly where you're supposed to be.
Take one small step today. Then another tomorrow. The path will become clearer as you walk it.
When You're Ready for Support
At Gofman Therapy and Consulting, we offer career coaching and counseling for young adults navigating exactly this kind of uncertainty. Whether you're a recent college graduate with no clear direction, someone whose job search has stalled, or a young professional realizing your current path isn't the right fit—we can help.
Our career counseling services are available in-person in Westport, CT and virtually throughout Connecticut, New York, the DC Metro area, and nationwide.