Do I have an eating disorder or disordered eating? How to tell.

It’s not unusual to question your relationship with food at some point in life. Maybe you’ve noticed your eating habits changing. Maybe food feels more stressful than it used to. Or maybe someone close to you has expressed concern, and you’re not sure whether it’s something to take seriously.

For teens, young adults, and parents, the line between “disordered eating” and an eating disorder can feel blurry. Many people wonder if what they’re experiencing is a phase, a response to stress, or something that deserves professional support.

This post explores the difference between eating disorder vs disordered eating, common warning signs, and when therapy, including DBT-based support, can help.

If you’re reading this and wondering, “Do I have an eating disorder?” you’re not alone. That question itself is often a meaningful place to start.

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What Is Disordered Eating?

Disordered eating is a broad term that describes unhealthy or unhelpful patterns around food, eating, or body image. These behaviors may not meet the criteria for a formal eating disorder, but they can still have a real impact on physical and emotional wellbeing.

Examples of disordered eating can include:

  • Skipping meals regularly

  • Rigid “food rules” or labeling foods as strictly good or bad

  • Eating in response to stress, guilt, or anxiety rather than hunger

  • Feeling a strong sense of control or relief through restricting or overeating

  • Preoccupation with weight, calories, or body shape

  • Avoiding social situations that involve food

Disordered eating often exists on a spectrum. Some people move in and out of these patterns depending on stress, life transitions, or emotional challenges. For others, these habits become more entrenched over time.

What Is an Eating Disorder?

An eating disorder is a diagnosable mental health condition that involves persistent disturbances in eating behavior, body image, and emotional regulation. These patterns typically cause significant distress and interfere with daily functioning, relationships, school, or work.

Common eating disorders include:

  • Anorexia nervosa

  • Bulimia nervosa

  • Binge eating disorder

  • Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)

  • Other specified feeding or eating disorders (OSFED)

While the behaviors may look different, many eating disorders share common emotional and psychological roots, such as perfectionism, anxiety, difficulty tolerating strong emotions, or a deep need for control or certainty.

Eating Disorder vs Disordered Eating: What’s the Difference?

This is one of the most common questions people search for, and the answer isn’t always straightforward.

A helpful way to think about it is this:

Disordered eating refers to patterns that are concerning but may be more flexible or situational. An eating disorder tends to involve more rigid, persistent, and consuming behaviors that significantly affect daily life.

Some key differences include:

  • How much time and mental energy food and body concerns take up

  • Whether eating behaviors feel optional or feel driven and hard to stop

  • The level of distress, secrecy, or shame involved

  • The impact on physical health, relationships, or responsibilities

It’s also important to know that many people move along this spectrum over time. What starts as disordered eating can develop into something more serious, especially during periods of stress, transition, or emotional strain.

See If Therapy Might Be a Good Fit

Common Eating Disorder Symptoms in Teens and Young Adults

Eating disorder symptoms don’t always look the same from person to person. In teens, college students, and young adults, some warning signs can include:

  • Skipping meals or eating very small portions

  • Frequent trips to the bathroom after eating

  • Cycles of binge eating followed by guilt or attempts to “make up for it”

  • Avoiding eating around others

  • Increased secrecy around food or body habits

  • Strong emotional reactions tied to weight, shape, or appearance

  • Feeling out of control around food

  • Physical symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, or changes in sleep

Parents often search for signs of an eating disorder in teens because these patterns can be subtle at first. Changes in mood, isolation, or withdrawal can sometimes appear before eating behaviors become obvious.

When Does Dieting or Stress Become a Concern?

Many people ask, “Is this just stress eating, or is it something more?”

Stress, anxiety, and major life transitions can all influence how someone eats. Starting college, entering the workforce, navigating identity changes, or dealing with pressure to perform can all shape eating patterns.

It may be time to seek support if:

  • Food feels like a primary way of coping with emotions

  • Eating habits feel increasingly rigid or out of control

  • Thoughts about food or body image dominate your day

  • You feel shame, secrecy, or fear around eating

  • Your health, focus, or relationships are being affected

These are not signs of weakness. They are signals that something in your system may be overwhelmed and looking for support.

How Emotional Regulation Connects to Eating Behaviors

Many people are surprised to learn how closely eating patterns are tied to emotional regulation. For some, food becomes a way to manage feelings that feel too intense, confusing, or uncomfortable.

This is one reason DBT for eating disorders and disordered eating can be so helpful. Dialectical Behavior Therapy focuses on building skills for:

  • Tolerating distress without harmful coping strategies

  • Regulating intense emotions

  • Increasing awareness of internal experiences

  • Building healthier ways to respond to stress and urges

When emotional tools are limited, behaviors around food often fill that gap. Therapy helps expand the range of ways someone can care for themselves during difficult moments.

How Therapy Can Help With Eating Concerns

Therapy for disordered eating and eating disorders is not just about changing food behaviors. It’s about understanding what those behaviors are doing for you emotionally and building safer, more sustainable ways to meet those needs.

In our work with teens and young adults, therapy often focuses on:

  • Exploring the emotional role food and body image play

  • Building emotional awareness and regulation skills

  • Addressing anxiety, perfectionism, or identity stress

  • Strengthening self-trust and self-compassion

  • Improving communication with family or support systems

For some clients, DBT-based therapy provides a practical, structured way to work with urges, intense emotions, and all-or-nothing thinking that often show up alongside eating issues.

Eating Disorder Therapy in Westport, CT and Virtual Support

At Gofman Therapy & Consulting, we offer eating disorder therapy in Westport, CT, and virtual therapy across Connecticut and Virginia. We work with teens, young adults, and families who are navigating concerns about food, body image, and emotional wellbeing.

Whether you’re noticing early warning signs or dealing with long-standing patterns, support can make a meaningful difference.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

If you’re wondering whether what you’re experiencing is disordered eating or an eating disorder, that curiosity itself is a sign of care. You don’t need a diagnosis to reach out for support. You just need a sense that something doesn’t feel quite right.

If you’re a parent concerned about your teen or young adult, it’s okay to ask questions and explore options. You don’t have to wait for things to become a crisis before seeking guidance.

We’re here to talk through what’s been coming up and help you decide what next steps might make sense.

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FAQ: Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating

What’s the difference between disordered eating and an eating disorder?

Disordered eating refers to unhealthy patterns around food that may be more flexible or situational. An eating disorder is a diagnosable condition involving more persistent, rigid behaviors that significantly impact daily life, health, or emotional wellbeing.

How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

If food, body image, or eating behaviors are causing distress, interfering with relationships or responsibilities, or feel hard to control, it may be helpful to talk with a mental health professional for an assessment.

Can DBT help with eating disorder symptoms?

Yes. DBT focuses on emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and coping skills, which can be especially helpful for people who use food-related behaviors to manage intense emotions or stress.

What are early warning signs of an eating disorder in teens?

Early signs can include skipping meals, avoiding eating around others, changes in mood or energy, secrecy around food, and increased preoccupation with weight or appearance.

Do you offer virtual eating disorder therapy?

Yes. We offer virtual therapy across Connecticut and Virginia.